Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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