Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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