I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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