Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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