I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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