Got a toothbrush?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
