Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize