What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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