Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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