the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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