Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were trust falling into bushes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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