Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
