Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
send nudes
from the living room?
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