There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
