how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he thought i was a dude.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
