You work out of a Hotel?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
