i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
