the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My pussy is not your playground.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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