I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
