Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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