forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
