I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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