Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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