he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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