Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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