Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
