Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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