I hate all girls vehemently.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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