Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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