he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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