Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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