My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize