sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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