im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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