No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
