Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
