Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
