we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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