Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
