I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
