I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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