i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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