Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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