Im at strip club and am horny
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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