Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
