what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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