Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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