You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
