Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
