It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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