I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
