so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
