so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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