the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
