shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
