I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
well you can't waste a boner
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
