he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
