I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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