people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
