I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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